journalman's Diaryland Diary


Barnes and Tramp - Back in the Fold

So much has been going on, that it is definitely worth making an update.

Dreamgirl has up and left for the golden shores of Costa Rica with her ex-boyfriend, of all people, for a total of two weeks. With all that's going on in my life, I've come to realize that I do not have the energy to maintain her pursuit. Chips are just going to have to fall where they may.

I've been noticing 'notable' events in both my day and in my consciousness.

Most interestingly is how things have 'come full circle' of late for me. I've managed to reconcile/mend fences with 2 former (though much cherished) friends, and I've been walking on sunshine. I've also managed to re-connect with a third, less special friend, but all-in-all, it's been fantastic.

One is Barnes, my ex-guy friend and wingman of 7 years, prior to our fallout last year. I came to realize that the issues "just don't matter" and that I simply miss the guy. I don't care how or why we fought... though he totally deserved to be weeded out at the time. It mattered then, but it doesn't matter now.

Barnes is back, and I couldn't be happier.

The second, which just came last night, is Tramp. She's back, it seems. And to top off my Barnes walk-on-sunshine, she thought she'd extend a few bright rays from across the street.

She called, and I played my cards very well. We shared a friendly/fun "hello?... can you hear me?" kind of volley and when we finally got to talking, I cut her right off and said we'd have to talk 'tomorrow. bad time right now.'. She called again today, and we're handily on the road to wellville.

I shall never succumb to the same fate with her again. I know too much about her. Her entire life's anthem is summarized by that one new hip-hop song: "don't you wish your girlfriend was H0T like me?".

It's ghetto culture.

It's the culture of "You're only hot cuz you have that pretty white girl next to you, and I have more soul than her, so I'm gonna get you in front of her."

It's the culture of "I think you're hot, so you see this guy I'm with right here? I'm willing to ignore him to talk to you. That's how much I like you."

In short, I don't want to date her. I want to know her. And for my wounded self esteem's sake, I want her to want me. I think she already does... she called after all. Twice. A dear & fairly gorgeous chick-friend has agreed to be my fake-girlfriend in a charade we're planning to enact for her benefit. Oh PaTrampKa. She is gonna hate it, which is to say, she's going to LOVE me.

Tramp called. Barnes is back. We can discuss game strategy another day. :-)

5:56 p.m. - 2005-11-10


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