journalman's Diaryland Diary


New Beginning - Life and Career Transition

It feels good to start fresh; there’s no history to recall upon, no expectation to reach towards, and for once I am confronted with that intimidating thing called ‘the blank page’.

Yet these steps I’m taking... new job, newer friends, and new life & career goals are the ultimate in the proverbial blank page. I’ve shaken things up in every imaginable way because quite simply I’m bored with life the way I’ve led it to date.


I’ve been bored at work because my job didn’t challenge me. It was a fine career, and in time I would have made a ‘good to great’ living, but the time came for me to realize that I was relying on a safety net. My then-career burst with the dotcom companies in May, 2001, and it was then I made the choice to help my father’s business take root in Manhattan.

It was a ‘bricks and mortar’ small & growing firm in lower Manhattan that was started by a blood relative. In pre-9/11 2001, that was the textbook definition of “job security” and I was happy to help.

Well, I did help. Our company has flourished under our reign together, and it is very well poised for additional growth. It was not a small feat, yet it was not a big deal. After all, it is a company full of hard-working, educated professionals.

After my initial work was done and sophisticated processes were in place, I effectively demoted myself to the person who maintains the processes instead of the one who designs them. We’ve enjoyed growth, and my busy-work increased while the indisputable fact remained: that I could train any number of specialized assistants to do exactly what I do.

I’d become withdrawn, professionally. I shifted from wearing suits every day to wearing business-casual in the office. For 4 years, I haven’t once gone out with co-workers for drinks after work. Not once; we’re just ‘not that kind of firm’. For 4 years, I haven’t once looked over at a co-worker and rolled my eyes at something the boss said. The boss was dad; I wouldn’t dare to do it.

So I decided its time for a change. I am both grateful for and proud of the safety net I’ve help build myself, but I should recognize it for what it is.

It’s a safety net, and I have no business being on it for more than a few moments. Now that it’s there, now that I can go back to it any time I want to, I do myself a total dis-service by not going out into the world and jumping as high as I can jump.

I’m a trapeze artist with a safety net, an education, a metrocard, one helluva resume, and ‘contacts all over this industry, if not town’. Higher is better; more is more. I want to go as high as I can go, and I just received my father’s blessing today to go out and do it.

I’m proud of that, too. There’s so much I want to accomplish that I can hardly wait to get started.

9:16 p.m. - 2005-09-26


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